How It Began, Part I

I know I’ve said it so many times, but getting my head in the right place had to happen before physical change and weight loss could happen.  But getting my head in the right place wasn’t that easy.  I wish it would have been as easy as a snap of the fingers, but…no.  It was a process.  A long process.

I’m a reader.  I love to read–medical thrillers, conspiracy novels, historical fiction, Christian nonfiction, but of all the books I’ve read, not one has had any true impact on my life.  Well, aside from the Bible.   Sure, some books I’ve read have made booksme think about things differently, but none had any life changing impact on me.  Until…Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst.



At a petite 5’2″, I had eaten my way to 180 pounds, and I felt powerless to change that number.  I found myself hiding in baggy T-shirts and sweatshirts, hoping that no one would pick up on the fact that I was fat.  I made excuses to avoid social situations, sat at home miserable with myself, and had a snack because I didn’t know what else to do.  I read about all the fad diets, looked at all the commercials for exercise equipment, but nothing could motivate me to make any changes, despite my deep desire to change.

Then a women’s Bible study at church caught my attention.  The group would be studying the book Made to Crave.  A little blurb about the study said something about craving God, not food.  I was intrigued.  A little flame of hope started to flicker inside me.  Was this the key to getting me to skinny?

I signed up for the study, opened the book and began reading, completely unprepared for my reaction of loud, heart-wrenching sobs.  Lysa equates food issues to spiritual issues, and I suddenly saw that I was letting a brownie take the place of God.  God is more than willing and able to handle all my stress and boredom, but instead of letting Him deal with those issues, I tried to handle it on my own…by eating.  I mean, even if I took out the spiritual equation, and just thought about it logically, how was food going to fix any of my problems?  It’s not like food has the ability to pay off that debt, heal Mom’s sickness, take away the conflict in that relationship.  Those things are beyond what food can handle; yet, for some reason, I thought eating would ease the stress of those situations.

So, the question I’m sure you all have is:  how much weight did you lose during the class?  Well, none.  That’s right.  I finished the class as fat as when I’d started.  BUT (and this is a big but), seeds of new thinking had been planted.  Over the next 8 months, concepts I learned through the Made to Crave study rumbled around in my mind, and then came September…

I’ll be writing a lot more about what I learned through Made to Crave, but reading Lysa’s book was really what put the wheels of change in motion, what opened my eyes to my stinkin’ thinkin’, and what began a mental and spiritual transformation that eventually gave way to a physical transformation.

For more information on Made to Crave, check out the website at



Author: Juanita

Thanks for dropping in! I'm Juanita. People tell me I don't look like a Juanita since I'm red headed and freckled with super pale skin, but what's in a name, right? I'm a 40-something, single (as in no kids, never been married) gal from Oklahoma. I'm a nurse and most importantly, a follower of Jesus. I love chocolate, am scared of heights, and petrified of snakes. After my fortieth birthday and coming to grips with the fact that I was obese, I discovered I'm a runner and a CrossFitter, and that there's a whole lot of life left to live. I just had to get past the fat, stare down the fear, and realize that 40 is not too old for new beginnings. So this is the story of my struggles and adventures in the quest to live a healthy life in mind, body, and soul.

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