You may remember that last August I started a fitness and health training program with a goal of becoming a certified personal trainer in mind. At the time, I questioned my sanity. I mean, I’ve invested 24 years into my nursing career. I have a masters degree in nursing, for Pete’s sake! Was I really thinking about throwing all that away to follow some hair brained scheme of becoming a personal trainer?
Now I’m one week away from finishing the classroom portion of the program. One week! And I’m swimming in fear. As I’ve talked with career services at the school to make plans to begin my 180 hours of externship, the reality of the path I’m on hit me like a ton of bricks. We’re talking waking up at night, doubts swirling in my mind, feelings of inadequacy ripping me apart. Am I crazy? I’m in my 40’s, well established in a steady career…and yet, here I am, hoping to launch my own business in a completely different field. I really must be nuts. What if it doesn’t take off? What if I don’t know how to run a business? What if I don’t know how to help my clients? What if I can’t even get any clients? What if…?
“What if” has been the bane of my existence for most of my life. It’s that fear of failure, of caring more about what others think of me than of just trying. It’s the fear that I’m not good enough.
So as I’m grappling with these feelings yet again (seriously, when will fear just leave me alone?), I find myself thinking about why my blog is titled On the Other Side of Fat, Fear, and Forty. On the other side of fear…
On the other side of fear, there’s the risk of failure, for sure. But there’s also the huge opportunity for growth in that failure. And isn’t that what failure really is–just not learning from the experience?
On the other side of fear, there’s hope–hope for new beginnings, of living out a passion, of not just surviving but LIVING.
On the other side of fear, there’s faith. Taking a step of faith has got to be one of the most uncomfortable and scary things ever, but trusting that God has my back works that faith muscle and makes it grow.
On the other side of fear, there’s endless possibility. Who knows really what could happen? Maybe what happens is something totally different than what I envisioned.
On the other side of fear, there’s peace. Maybe things don’t pan out the way I’d hoped or expected, but at least I don’t have the regret of never knowing because I never tried.
On the other side of fear, there’s adventure! I mean, I’m taking an untraveled path. Whatever happens, it’s sure to be a new experience, and good or bad, it’s bound to be an adventure.
So I’m buckling my seatbelt, preparing for the leap, and hoping my nerves don’t fail me! Ready or not, here we go!!!
Talk to me:
What’s been the most scary thing you’ve ever done?
If you could do anything you wanted, knowing that you wouldn’t fail, what would it be?