And just like that, my race is over before it began–maybe.
I’ve been dealing with a hip flexor issue or something in that neighborhood for a looong time. Like around 2 years. It gets better, stays away for a few weeks or months, and then comes back to annoy the heck out of me again. But it’s been manageable. I’m sure the chiropractor is tired of hearing me complain about this pain in my groin, but after he works on it, it feels better, and I’ve been able to continue running without issue.
Until a few weeks ago. After no issue for almost 2 months, the pain came back and won’t go away. Working on it helped for like 2 seconds, but I noticed increasing pain after long runs. So I was down to running every other day, which meant I was missing a LOT of workouts and weekly miles that I need for race training. A little over a week ago, I ran our long Saturday run, and that’s been it. Ever since that run, I’ve had issues even walking and sitting.
If I were a kid, I’d be lying on the floor, kicking and screaming. I’m so disappointed.
But something a friend I CrossFit with said has rattled around in my head all day. After only being able to complete half of a fast 1 mile today (because of this stupid groin issue) I blurted out how frustrated I was that I probably won’t be able to run the half-marathon I’ve been training for, especially since I was hoping to run a PR.
She looked at me and said, “So because you can’t do your best, it’s not worth trying at all?”
And she wasn’t being mean, she was asking sincerely.
…it’s not worth trying at all?
...it’s not worth trying at all?
I’ve thought long and hard about that. It goes along with what the CrossFit coach asked me when I told him what a hard time I have with overhead squats because of upper back and shoulder mobility issues. “Why do you want to do an overhead squat? Is it just to say you can? Or do you want to get stronger? Because if you want to get stronger, there’s other exercises you can do.”
So I’ve thought about why I want to run this race–like really why. And is that why strong enough to run it even if I know a PR is out of the picture?
She has a really good point.
Running is fun. Running races is a blast. I know I’ll never win a race, and while I’ve captured some age division places in smaller races, I’ll probably never place in bigger races like the Route 66 races which draw thousands of runners. So is it really a big deal if I don’t run these 13.1 miles as fast as I probably could? Or if I have to walk 6 of those miles? I’d still get to experience the race and the super cool experience of participating in such a big race. I’d just get to experience it a lot longer than if I was running a PR!
So I’ve decided to hold on to my why and love for running, and barring any further damage to an impending (or maybe a present) injury, run the race as fast I can, enjoy the adventure, and for once forget about the time.
I’m sure that’s easier said than done, but…I’ll try.
Talk to me:
Have you ever missed out on something you were looking forward to because of illness or injury?